Book Review - "save the males" - Kathleen Parker A weekend visit from my beloved stepson linked to the synchronous library find of "save the males" by Kathleen Parker. Published in 2008, the cover subtitle (also in lower case) reads "why men matter - why women should care." This was a long read for me because I quickly developed a guilt complex.
I didn't want to resume reading once had I laid it down, because I had to admit guilt in this issue. With a long list of dating horror stories from bachelorette days - I confess I had thoughtlessly jumped on the negative bandwagon about men.
Given the divorce statistics, Kathleen Parker's topic shows how men get the bad rap in multitudinous ways. One of the interesting examples she gives is how automatic garnishment of the father's paycheck makes no sense.
She points out that deadbeat Dad's are usually so because they either don't have a job, or they have been jailed for non support. Obviously they can't contribute when they have no income. How do they contribute support when they are in jail?
The working dads, for the most part, had already been paying their support when the paycheck garnishment was initiated - another demeaning input for men in general. If they were already paying conscientiously why do they need some outside entity to intervene?
Parker addresses the cruelty of the term "deadbeat"; that there are moms out there who don't pay court mandated support but don't have any mean labels applied to them.
"Save the males" addresses the impact of fatherless homes. She pungently remarks that the value of men in society is being reduced to nothing more than "sperm and a wallet."
Within the lines of this book are pertinent questions like the following:
How does a boy grow up to be a father when there is no father in the household?
How does a girl know what to look for in a husband without a role model?
Men get the impossible situation of wanting to be good fathers - but not having that choice. Women can easily entrap men with lies about fertility. If a woman wants an abortion and the man wants a child - oh well.
I picked up on some ambiguity with Kathleen Parker's stance on abortion in this part. In one part, she expresses gratitude that women have that controversial abortion choice. Next she sites the Latin root word for fetus, which means child.
With a lot of sensitivity, Kathleen Parker addresses deep yearnings concerning biological connections and offspring. Many adopted children, albeit from happy homes, are obsessed about who their biological parents are. She describes a desperate, inward longing of both genders wanting children.
Just as I was about to theorize about historical, matriarchal societies, I got to the paragraph about wealthy men hiring surrogate mothers. In this part, there's a description of women in India who jump at the paid opportunity to become baby incubators.
The beginning pages reveal that Kathrine Parker has a sense of humor. Later, she understandably gets bogged down with addressing the ambiguity of modern society. How could she not?
I am left feeling more empathetic towards the plight of men in today's society. I recommend this book as a quality read, especially for men who relate. Kathleen Parker's "save the males" shares a lot of thought provoking research results - a respectable and well constructed book.
